Life is a Highway

or maybe rollercoaster is more like it. Been a lot of ups and downs lately, though most of them are contained within my own head as usual. Thinking I may have to up the meds again.

I have absolutely no patience left for my boss. My most productive hours right now occur not because of the leadership I report to, but rather in spite of it. He seems to have some type of personal vendetta against his boss, which I don't really understand. My boss's boss (this is touch without spelling out to the world who I'm irritated with) seems like a good enough person. He has rewarded my efforts with honest praise and opportunities for new projects and challenges. I don't understand the issues that exist between these two, but I am caught squarely in the middle of it. And frankly, I've just had enough.

There is also the ongoing saga of my wife and her funemployment. We have limped through a year of it, but one way or another it is coming to an end soon. We are both pursuing avenues that we haven't really gone down before. So something will work out.

Published!

I've been doing some basic web stuff and writing for Cyclocross Magazine. Sat down to write a blog post last night, but for some reason decided to send it to the mag to see if there was an interest.

Apparently, there was.

A Good Day

I had one of those rides yesterday. No, it wasn’t a cross ride, but in my defense, for a road ride it involved more than the usual number of obstacles, bunnyhops, even spectators it seemed. It was one of those rides that doesn’t start out unusual. Decent weather, good company and that little extra snap in the legs right from the start. But somewhere along the route the stars align and you reach that place that is difficult to define.

There was nothing extraordinary about the ride we set out on. Just a preview of a road course for the race my father’s club promotes every year. Something we have done innumerable times in the past. But each year the road conditions seem to deteriorate a little more, hence the need to preview the course, just in case.

Tearing through the course I stole glances at the computer, continually pleased with the numbers I was seeing. I shouldn’t be going this fast this early, feeling this well. Good signs.

Coming back through the last stoplight, I came to a stop and it just dawned on me. This is why I ride. The tough rides that show you’re in better shape than you thought. That all those trainer sessions in the basement were worth the boredom. Watching cycling DVDs so many times you begin playing them back in your head as you try and fall asleep. It all has a purpose.

We do all of that because we are chasing the perfect day. It may be that we hope for all this to come together on a race day. But we can’t control the intangibles. We just have to hope we recognize it when we see it. When we see clearly how lucky we are to have the ability to chase these perfect days. Appreciate the moment that you realize that it’s one of those days, because you never know how long it will be till you find it again.

Busy, Busy, Busy...

There has been a lot going on the last month. First race of the season (and I didn't finish last!). Just registered for the second.

Working with these guys is proving to be an experience. We'll see how it goes. Working on the text for my first attempt at an article, hopefully they won't laugh too hard at my finished product. Been e-mailing people from several states and two continents trying to pull somethings together.

Working with the club on this. And of course still working on the club website and the uniform order.

Grandmother is in a decline and we're headed out tomorrow to go see her. She's apparently gotten a lot worse since I saw her a few days ago.

And of course there's this other thing. Cause I don't have enough to do.

And I don't feel like I can anything done anywhere for anyone. Just a rough time right now. But there are some lights on the horizon, bright spots at the end of the tunnel.

Hopefully it doesn't end up being the train.

I need to get better about this....

There really is no excuse that I haven't posted in two weeks. It hasn't been for lack of thinking about blogging, does that count? There has been a lot of thought about this but it never felt like I had a good enough subject.

Which brings up the true question. What is my motivation? Am I doing this for me or for others? Do I really expect other people to read this? Or am I doing this as a record of how well the medication is working? No idea really. Just something I think about from time to time.