to describe my experience taking Caitlin to the pediatrician last week. But I'll try, because for two hours last week, my life became a sit-com, and it has to be shared if I'm to realize how funny it really was.
Nothing unusual about taking the kid to the doctor. Just a 2-month well visit, and everything was fine. But I forgot the diaper bag. Rookie mistake. And my timing was off.
So we got there and got into the exam room without incidient. It was at that point that I realized that she needed to eat. But I could probably stretch things out till we got home no problem. Then we waited. And waited. And when the doctor came in I had to fess up.
Daddy Day Care meet Daddy Dumb Ass.
Thankfully the office always has formula on hand and in no time at all she was fed and happy. Crisis averted.
Right.
Then came the poop. Oh, my. The poop. There shouldn't have been that much poop coming out of this little body at one time. But we'll only be here a couple of minutes. We can still make it. Oh my god, the smell. And what is dripping on my pants.
Crap. Literally.
So back out with the sheepish grin as I beg for a diaper. Again no problem. Taken care of. With only mild laughter from the staff.
Just a couple of shots and an oral vaccine and we are out of here.
Apparently the oral vaccine didn't agree with her discriminating palate. Cause it went in and then came back out. Along with all the formula. For the last two days, based on the volume. Pound for pound if that much vomit came out of me it would overflow the septic system.
The nurse was wonderful. Helpful, understanding. And the Scooby-Doo hospital gown, cause I forgot the diaper bag, that she got to come home in was very cute.
I don't think I can ever go back there.
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