And Caitlin, being the best thing that came into my life, and my son and wife being the best things that we're already a part of my life, I am left to contemplate other things.
There have been some major changes for me and within me this year. While the most life-changing moments involved doctor's appointments, discussions with my wife and several prescriptions, cause uncontrollable anxiety is just a cruel bitch to live with, I choose to ignore these for the purposes of this discussion. I started this blog almost a year ago to help move past those issues, not to dwell on them.
So, childbirth, family and medication aside, I have chosen the most lifechanging moment of my 2008.
It's an event that seemed to both transcend description and yet not be worthy of mention. Something I wanted to scream from the highest cliff and at the same time keep to myself lest too many others discover it and make it their own.
OK, this post has taken way to seriuos a turn. Serious enough as to go against the very nature of the activity I am describing.
Cyclocross. Exquisitely painful. Wonderfully damaging. Inspirational and exhausting. It has both helped me find my limits and expand my horizons.
It started with an idea about this time last year. Just pick up a frame. Club discounts were announced. E-mails were sent. Debates were undertaken. I annoyed people that I had never even met.
And I brought home the first new baby of this year:
And it began. The slow dressing of the new addition. Spoiled with an brand new Ultegra SL drivetrain, FSA Carbon Bars, Mavic Ksryiums and random parts from other steeds, it began to take shape. It was ridden a few times, played with really, as I didn't know what was waiting for me.
Then it was raced. Granogue. Queen of the MAC.
I could use a lot of cliches and sappy terms to describe what I felt and what I went through, but I would fail in my quest to relate what cross is. Cross is to be experienced not described. The only words I can think to write is that cross is simple. You either get it or you don't.
I thought I knew what I was getting into. I thought I had figured out what cross was. I was wrong. Cross isn't a bike race. Cross is a community. Cross is a lifestyle. And the race was only the beginning. Only a taste.
The real fun began when I found the DCCofD. There's nothing official here, it's just a group of crossers. Pulled from other formal clubs and teams into a loose meeting of likeminded folks. My contact began as a request to join an e-mail list. It was obvious from the start that this group was different.
I've joined other lists. Send a request and you're a member. Not this time. There was more to this one. It was intriguing and intimidating at the same time. I knew some of these rders by face and reputation, even if I hadn't met them. They were real riders, real racers. And I well, I wasn't.
But I was welcomed by this guy. Come out to a practice or two, volunteer at the upcoming race and we'll see. So I drove over an hour to a middle school in Wilmington. And I rode with the DCCofD. And I sucked, completely and totally.
Now, I'll diverge a little here. It's obvious at this point that I have issues. Real issues. And social situations, well, let's just say they don't usually bring out the best in me. And that, as much as the riding is why I was encouraged by my wonderful and supportive wife to do this. In reality, she all but physically threw me out the door to go to the practice.
But I was welcomed. I was introduced. And I was dropped. I almost got lapped in a two lap effort. I was left behind by a rider with a broken ankle. But I was there.
And then I started getting advice. Real, helpful honest advice. Tire pressure, body position, I truly felt welcomed. At the end of the first practice, I was welcomed and I was added to the e-mail list. An odd thing to be proud of, I know, but I have to take what I can get when it comes to personal achievement.
I came back for more week after week. And then it happened. They made fun of me. They laughed. And at that point I knew, that I had found where I belonged.
No comments:
Post a Comment